


Pirate, Interrupted

by cys



Series: Piratical Conversations [1]
Category: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:25:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cys/pseuds/cys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Bootstrap make two, not so virginal sacrifices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pirate, Interrupted

Well, mate?

Well, what, Jack?

How are you fixing to get us out of this one?

Why should I have to be the one thinking of a plan? If memory serves, I'm not the one that got us into this mess.

Surely, dear William, you're not suggesting that I am at fault for our being hung by our hands and feet over the mouth of a volcano as a pair of sacrificial lambs in order to appease some heathen god naked as the day we were born, are you?

If the scabbard fits...

'Tis treason to be thinking such uncharitable thoughts of your captain, Bill.

It's only treason when it applies to kings, Jack. What I'm doing is being mutinous.

You wound me, you do. And I am in no way responsible for this.

Who was it that decided that we'd come ashore by our own little twosies?

That's only cause I was thinking of you, love.

Of me?

Of course. Now me, you know I have no shame to speak of. I don't really care if all the world and sundry catch us in the midst of buggering each other like a pair of wild minks, but I didn't want to wound your fine sensibilities.

Jack!

Aye, Bill?

You're daft, Jack. What gave you the idea that I'd even want to be buggered by you?

I don't mind if you be the one doing the buggering. Wouldn't mind being buggered by you, truth be told. Been thinking of nothing else for nigh on a year, now.

What makes you think--

Don't be trying to deny it, mate. Daft ol'Cap'n Jack may be, but me eyes are in perfect working order. I've seen how you be watching me like I'm the last keg of rum onboard with the nearest port weeks away.

Not everyone has the love of rum that you do, Jack.

Now who's being daft? Every pirate in the Caribbean shares my viewpoint on rum. Next, you'll be tying to tell me I was just imagining that you were at full mast against me bum day before last.

I was trying to keep your fool head attached t'the rest o'your nancing body. The deck of the Pearl was swarming with King's Men determined t'collect the bounty on your head. Or did you forget that part, Jack?

Oh, the expressions on their faces were priceless when we set'm adrift in that longboat. Bloody gits should've known better'n to engage with the Black Pearl and Captain—

\--Jack Sparrow.

That's right, mate. And that doesn't discount the fact that you were pokein' me bum with something other'n your pistols, Bill. Not that I blame you seein' as how everyone's after me humble self in one way or the other.

Usually trying to smack you into—what in God's bloody name are you doing, Jack?

Don't get your knickers in a bunch, love, just tryin' t'see if I can loosen the knots at your feet with me teeth.

Somehow, I don't think running your tongue over my ankles is going to help.

You've got such dainty ankles. I couldn't resist, mate.

Dainty?

No need to sound so outraged. There's no shame in being pleasing to the eye. Just so's long as it doesn't interfere with your piratical activities, that is.

Is that why you've stopped shaving? Wanting to hide that face of yours?

My face has helped my career more times than I can count, I'll have you know. People are less inclined to believe me capable of piratical intent when I look like everyone's younger brother. Only prettier, of course. As for why I'm cultivating a look more becoming of a pirate is that a certain member of me highly successful pirate crew believes the same crock even with ample evidence to the con—

What was that?

What was what?

Listen, Jack. That!

I don't hear any—oh, shit.

What?

Oh, fuck me sideways, this isn't good. Ah, well. No help for it. Just give me a moment, mate, and I'll have us out right quick.

How the bloody hell did you--, no better question, why the bloody hell didn't you get us out sooner?

Well, you looked so fetching with your bits all dangling about and with nowhere t'go, that I couldn't help but try and take advantage of such an opportune moment. It was all a bit of harmless fun, mate.

Harmless fun? I'm going to kill you, Jack. Just as soon as we get on solid ground, I'm going to wring that too pretty neck of yours and show you harmless fu—

Promises, promises. However, seein' as I know just who is tramplin' up the trail with all the grace of a river barge, might I suggest you hold off with the foreplay until a later date when we're safely on board the Pearl? After that, I give you permission to wring me neck, and any other portion of me anatomy that catches your fancy. Do we have an accord?

You're incorrigible, Jack.

Pirate, Bill.

 

END


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